Msgr. Kenneth J. Herbster Obituary (1936 - 2022)

Reverend Monsignor Kenneth J. Herbster, age 86, passed away peacefully at his home at the James F. Kelley Residence in Caldwell, NJ on December 1, 2022. He was a long-time resident of New Jersey and served the Archdiocese of Newark for 59 years. Ken was born January 21, 1936 in Hillside, NJ to Edward E. and Louisa (MacPhee) Herbster, the youngest of three boys. Growing up, Ken attended public and parochial school in Hillside and East Orange, NJ. Ken enrolled at Immaculate Conception Seminary at Darlington and was ordained as a Roman Catholic priest on May 25,1963. Following his ordination, Ken was appointed Parochial Vicar at St. Aloysius Parish in Jersey City from 1963 to 1966. In 1966 he enlisted as a Military Chaplain, serving in the United States Army until 1972. Ken served two tours in Vietnam from 1967-1968 and 1970-1971, stationed with the 9th Infantry Division in the Mekong Delta. While deployed, Ken would perform mass for the troopers and join them in the field. He would perform last rites, anointing of the sick, offered a sympathetic ear, and above all acted as a presence of peace during a time of conflict. Ken was awarded the Silver Star for his service in Vietnam, recognized for his bravery during an amphibious operation on December 4, 1967. The announcement of his recognition shared that he "exposed himself with complete disregard for his own safety for more than six hours to give aid and comfort to the wounded and dying" after troops came under heavy enemy fire. "His actions in the evacuation of the wounded provided for their minimal exposure to enemy fire," and, "as a direct result of his actions an untold number of lives were saved and many additional casualties were prevented." His time in the army in Vietnam had a profound and lasting impact on Ken's life and work. He continued to support his fellow veterans as an active member of many veteran service organizations throughout his lifetime. Ken was a particular source of comfort for those struggling with PTSD, something he personally experienced. Ken's responsibilities serving the Archdiocese of Newark and the Catholic Community in New Jersey included serving as Chaplain at Ramapo College in Mahwah from 1973 to 1982 and Chaplain of the Newman Catholic Center in Upper Montclair from 1975 to 1982. He served as Pastor of Our Lady of Mercy Parish in Park Ridge from 1982 to 1989, during which time he was also Presbyterial Council at the Archdiocese of Newark. From 1989 to 1997 he was Pastor at the St. Michael Parish in Union and was Dean at Union Region Deaneries 22, 23, and 26 from 1990 to 1997. Ken served as the Vice President for Mission/Minister at Stevens Institute of Technology, as well as Parochial Vicar at SS Peter & Paul Parish, both in Hoboken from 1997 to 1999. He served as Dean at Hudson Central from 1998 to 2004, Pastor at Our Lady of Grace/St. Joseph Parish in Hoboken from 1999 to 2005, and Presbyterial Council at the Archdiocese of Newark from 1999 to 2003. In 2000, he became administrator at St. Joseph Church in Hoboken and served on the Board of Consultors at the Archdiocese of Newark. In 2004, he served as Minister for Priests for the Archdiocese of Newark, where he impacted many priests through mentorship, sharing his kindness and sage wisdom. From 2005 to 2015, Ken was an in-house resident at Notre Dame Church in North Caldwell. In addition to mentoring other priests, Ken helped establish a group called "Reconnect" in 2007, which welcomed former priests who had retired or left the priesthood to regularly gather and share their thoughts and experiences. In 2010, Ken began serving as a visiting priest at St. Paul's Basilica in Daytona Beach, FL during the Lenten season. He was an integral part of the community. He often led masses for the Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University Catholic Student Union. He traveled throughout Central Florida to perform the anointing of the sick. During his visits, Ken spent considerable time with his nephew's family. His presence had a lasting impact on his great niece and nephew, who affectionately nicknamed him Gruncle Ken. Ken was fond of his visits south, and enjoyed the warmth, sun, and salt air. Ken was active in the Archdiocese up until his passing. He performed Mass weekly at St. Catherine's Convent in Caldwell. He also served at the Reverend Monsignor James F. Kelley Residence in Caldwell where he happily lived, enjoying Manhattans during happy hour with his friends, for 7 years. Ken was an avid and life-long learner. He received a Post Graduate Master's Degree in Sociology from Long Island University, NY, as well as a Master's Degree in Divinity from Immaculate Conception Seminary. He was extremely well read on a broad range of topics. He was especially interested in history and preserving his family's stories. He was known as the "family memory" by his brothers. Ken was an excellent storyteller, reflected in his thoughtful and family-centered homilies. He often left his listeners with an open-ended question - a way to consider his message and apply the teachings uniquely to their own lives. Ken was open-minded and compassionate. He was generous with his time and money. His interests were far-reaching: he was an avid sailor, traveler, skier, and outdoorsman. Ken co-owned sail boats and enjoyed sailing trips along Long Island Sound, out to Block Island, Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket, as well as bare boating in the BVI with his good friends, the Carolans. Ken was a lifelong friend to many and made an effort to stay in touch with all. He welcomed all people with great love and received great love in return. Ken's love of his large extended family knew no bounds, and he was a beloved brother, uncle, great-uncle, and great-great uncle. He is predeceased by his older brother and sister-in-law, Edward and Eileen Herbster of Rye, NY. He is survived by his older brother and sister-in-law, Gene and Eileen Herbster of Andover, MA, and 10 nieces and nephews: Anne M. Herbster of Rockville, MD; James E. Herbster (Karen) of Port Chester, NY; Kathleen M. Wood (John) of Rye, NY; Barbara A. Distasio (Dylan) of Rowayton, CT; and Christopher G. Herbster (Elizabeth) of Ormond Beach, FL; Lisa Flood (Brian), Stephen Gabriel (Joanne), Marea McCarthy (John), Andrea Fehnel (David), Jessica Herbster Frangakis (Paul), and 10 great nieces and nephews. Ken was a supportive, steadfast presence for multiple generations of Herbsters. By some estimates he has presided over 8 family weddings, 13 family baptisms, and many other family milestones both large and small. He adored his eleven great nieces and nephews whose lives he had the pleasure of participating in: Katherine Lyons (Matthew), Mary Anderson (Harold), Jaime Kahn (Steven), Colleen Capalbo (Thomas), John Herbster (Kristen), Andrew Wood, Brendan Wood, Caroline Herbster, Margaret Herbster, Brian Herbster, and Maren Distasio, and 9 great great nieces and nephews: Leo, Cornelia and Seamus Lyons; Chip and June Anderson; Rosie and James Capalbo; and Vera and Samuel Kahn. Ken's legacy of selflessness, faith, patience, humor, and above all else, love, will no doubt continue on in the countless lives - family, friends, and strangers alike - that he touched. Visitation is Friday, December 9 at Notre Dame Church, 359 Central Ave., North Caldwell, NJ, from 4 to 7 p.m., immediately followed by a Vigil Service. A funeral mass will be held at Notre Dame Church, Saturday, December 10 at 9:30 a.m. Interment will be at Maryrest Cemetery in Mahwah immediately following. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in Ken's name to the Rev. Msgr. James F. Kelley Residence, 247 Bloomfield Ave, Caldwell, NJ 07006.